In My Own Words; The Floundering Yogi; Albany New York Photographer

"You smell like a yoga studio." He snarfed. 
Which was humorous since he's never in his life stepped foot inside one.

"Why, thank you!" I flashed back with a swift smack to the butt. 
He was referring to my new Heart Chakra Anointing oil. Smells like a mix between lavender, rose and bergamot.

And out the door I went.

I tried Bikram yoga the other day. Imagine 105 degrees, a darkened room and 26 yoga poses. I left that class feeling a bit losey-goosey, totally cleansed and glowing. It has been a while since I've felt this way after a class! You see my "favorite" yoga teachers are dropping like flies. 
Pregnancies, new jobs, new schedules. 

It's hard. I'm floundering and I haven't found my place again yet. I've found happiness in my quest and experimentation in a range of different teachers, studios, practices and styles but it's just not the same.

Many people don't "get" me when I tell them this story. "What difference does it make? Why not go to another class? It's JUST yoga."

Oy-vey.

I received an email from one of those teachers recently and the wisdom shared was this: 

"After my teacher training, I struggled like crazy to find the same ease of being that my teacher had instilled in me. I never found the same thing, topographically speaking, but I found the core of it, in my own practice. Your truth is always there, even if it feels so hard to reach sometimes. All the other junk is on top, what you've learned about yourself and your being from this crazy fucked up world in which we live."

I am a better person. Beginning from the inside out. It may not be obvious, but maybe it takes a little more time and effort. 

And understanding.